What Up?

So....whats new with me. First of all, I am getting really excited about returning to class. As many of my friends, and wife, don't understand.....I absolutely love learning. I love being in the academic setting and being challenged with new ideas and perspectives at this point in my life is something that I adore. I think working within a museum is going to bring some new challenges as well and can't wait to get started.

On another note, I got contacted from a friend of my mom's yesterday because he found some bones out on his property and wants my opinion. This is a lot of what a forensic anthropologist does; has pictures sent to them in order to answer the question "Is this human?" and then goes and checks it out. I am really excited because if these are indeed human remains it could bring on some great opportunities for me. And while I have only assisted in situations like these, I am going to stay confident in the fact that this kind of situation is what I am trained for and go get it done. I have already called a fellow archaeologist of mine to accompany me in the case that I do have to go to the site so that while I am examining the visible remain (you never move them) we can decided if they are pre-historic or modern and make a more logical assessment to know how to proceed. Knowing the location in which they were found, the condition of the remains, and how they were found.....I am guessing pre-historic.
They were found when a bunch of guys were out looking for "arrow-heads", aka projectile points, which is illegal just to put that out there. Even though it is private land, the removal of Native American artifacts is punishable by law. The artifacts are property of the tribe to which they are affiliated and protected by federal law. Just to throw that out there because it happens more often than you would think.

Last, but not least, after being in Memphis for a solid year I am still struggling to figure out my new group of peers. It isn't so much the individuals that I am working with in the anthropology arena (since I haven't fully immersed myself into that group just yet) but those other individuals introduced to me through my wife. It is just taking my time to figure out who the individuals are that I can have a good time with and be done. There is a lot of drama in that group and have been able to determine those individuals who have drama that follows them. It has been a good week this week in that I am finding some people that I have ignored in the past that I really starting to enjoy being around. All in all, the drama that you have read about over the past couple of weeks is being forgotten and I am doing the same to the people that it revolved around. Things are going good and now if I can just get back in the classroom I think things will be even better.

Happy Father's Day!!

I know, I am way off on my calender. Truth is that my parents and I couldn't get our schedules together until now. We had planned a grill-filled father's day (on the actual day) and my dad got sick, leaving us to scramble to try and find time. With that being said I will be back in the good ol home town for the rest of today.

I did want to let you know that I do have this weeks recipe ready to right out.
How does
Homemade Deep Dish Pizza with spicy sausage
Sound?

It turned out really great, and I will share that with you when i return.


On another note, and to pat myself on the back. We have been going to the gym for three weeks now and have managed to go 4 times a week. I didn't think this was that impressive but everyone is saying that it is really good. We are both feeling much better and I have a lot more energy.

Last, my purchasing mostly from the farmer's market thing has taken a dip. While the food is much better, I don't plan well still and have been waisting food. Therefore, I have been resulting to making multiple trips to the grocery as to not waste as much. The problem is that I end up spending more with higher food prices and the cost of gas. What a predicament.


Have a Good Weekend, off to Jackson.

I'll Be Barack Tee at Urban Outfitters

Drum Roll Please.....

I got funding. Finally, finally, finally...I got offered a graduate assistant position today (with Chucalissa Museum) and I am on top of the world. I have two year contract with the museum in which I will be the staff osteologist (available for contract if you need assistance) for a mere 20 hours a week. I will be getting full tuition and a stipend for two years....a day that I thought would never come. Ok, well that is my really good news, other than that we went to a friends birthday/house party and I found my old reassurance and confidence. Overall, I am having one hell of a week so far (so no one screw it up, you can do that next week)!!!!!!!

My Tone

My wife and I had a little discussion this past weekend on the way in which I speak to other people. It wasn't in a bad way or anything, but more of a concern on how I approach different topics. The conversation came up that when I speak to others it is in a very "matter-of-fact" way that can lead people to believe that what I am saying is supported fact rather than my own opinion. After some self reflection I realized that this was the case. My stance is that within my profession/career path it is very important that when you are speaking to others in any situation that you portray yourself as very confident and well informed (even if you are not). In that vein it is the case that, when on the spot in front of a room, that one must state their opinion based on inferences and conclusions and back them up without skipping a beat. In a matter of perfecting this skill it has become something that I do in all situations. I am not sure that this is a good or bad thing, but has become a topic of concern with my wife. She sees this as a possible negative in that when I am discussing a topic that I have only limited knowledge I make conclusions, assumptions, or inferences that I know are my opinion, but that come off as being factual and well supported. In my defense I think that everyone should question anything that they are told, however it was explained to me that this isn't the case. She is concerned that if something that I present as factual could be discredited and then would diminish my credibility with members of her firm. While I see this as a valid argument and will take it into consideration, I am still not sure where I stand on this issue. I will leave you with this (also check out Zen's post on these topics, very valid here) and here is the quote that she also used that I think needs to be considered in this discussion:

From Siddharta Guatama, the Buddha himself:

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books.
Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.
Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations.

But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.

- Buddha…

Zen's site is amazing, please check it out. Zen Happens

Image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/44124361952@N01/214256287/

A Paternal Day

Yesterday was very weird. First of all I was doing a lot of stuff around the house that left me feeling very "domestic." Then when I fell asleep while trying to fight off taking a nap (didn't work) I had a dream about how I had adopted a monkey and was training it to do all kinds of "people" stuff. I my mind it was a logical process of "If I can take care of a monkey I can take care of a kid." A kid, what the hell was I thinking. Anyway, later in the day I got two calls from unknown numbers. The calls were about and hour and a half apart and the person on the other end responded with "Daddy?" Yeah, two unknown kids in distress called me and thought I was there daddy. Wow. On top of that I had this whole sentimental day with my dogs, as weird as that sounds, and was amazed when they were sleeping. We just had a couple of people we know, one of which we are close too, that announced that they were pregnant and I am so excited about it. Man I feel like a girl. So, that was my overly emotional, girly, paternal day.

On a side note, we went to our usual Wednesday night trivia night and there were quite a few topics that through me off. Not the trivia topics, but the conversations. One in particular came up because of the fact that a lot of the questions revolved around Canada. Even though I am pretty sure they were mostly joking, but there was a lot of negative undertones towards Canada. I didn't realize that so many people had animosity or negative opinions about the country. In my mind they have always been a country that has it much more together and is much more progressive than we are here. Just a thought though.

I still want a monkey!!!!!!

Ramble, Ramble, Ramble

I had one of those day where I was torn between being completely lazy and being really productive. It wasn't so much that I had a lot that had to get done, but there are always house projects and house work to be done. At the same time I could be completely lazy and it still wouldn't have been a huge deal. I know, what a predicament? I realize that I am fortunate to even have that kind of position during the week. The way I see it (since I can) is that I put in a full day at school and then still have to study and do homework at night, so this is kind of the trade off. ( I think I tell myself this so I don't feel bad when my wife is working so much). So I was mildly productive today. I purchased and planted some more herbs and transfered them all to the back yard in hopes of a better yield. I also went to the gym to check it out and get the rates and am going to give it a try. The really cool part is that is has that urban/old city vibe too it and is right down town via the street cars if necessary.

I should mention that I am extremely proud of my wife. I know, I know, Hasn't he already done this post? Well I have. But the situation just keeps coming up. She is having to work extra hours, is so intelligent that she keeps getting extra responsibility but then gets further backed up and has to work even more hours. I can't say that it isn't rough on us, but I sure hope that she realizes how much I appreciate it. I have been known to bitch about having to spend time out with her co-workers when, in fact, I do find many of them very enjoyable (except this one, which I won't go into on here). Many of the guys I get along with like a college buddy and the girls are all really easy to get along with since they think I am a great husband. Regardless, I happen to harp on them a little more than I should since they take so much time away from me and my wife being able to spend time together. All in all, I guess this is one of the many struggles that people talk about when giving you advice about one person being in school and one working in a marriage. I am very proud of her though and no matter how much I bitch and complain it is more at the situation that her job puts her in rather than her. She is an amazing person and I just wish we could spend ever hour of every day together (except we do get on each others nerves from time to time).

All in all today was not a very productive day, just more emotional and intellectual reflection of which I find myself doing more and more lately. Hope that doesn't become a problem.

Nerdiness News

First off let me say that I am amazed at how easily I fall behind on reading blog posts. I mean wow, one day and I have 80+ to read, maybe I have over committed myself.

Last night brought a very interesting chain of events for me. First of all, still feeling like a grown up, my father in-law and I had a very intellectually stimulating conversation on the Scott McClellan book coming out and the state of our countries government and leadership. It was an amazing conversation and a realization of just how similar the two of us are. We have very different religious ideals yet when it comes to history, culture, politics, and many other "not always appropriate topics" we often agree. I then went to a local sports bar for a night of trivia and beer, a common Wednesday event, where I meet up with my wife and many of her co-workers. Granted I have become friends with many of these people, but last night was not our usual group and therefore left me being kind of in limbo. The place was packed due to the Celtics game and our table was one that was added that we had to crowd around and was very awkward. I was situated next to the new intern and his ex-roommate that I had never met before and where I couldn't hear any other conversation. It was not the best. Luckily one of the guys that we do hang out with a lot (very similar to my own personality) decided to have us sneak off to do shots. Good in the fact that I finally had something to talk to and made me feel like was actually part of the group. After that it was like we were attached at the hip for the rest of the night, weird I know. The even better part for me is that one of the guys that was there I really don't like and think is a very shady and a supper sketch ball. Well my new best friend felt the same way, and just like that we had something to talk about and make fun of for the rest of the night. Granted when he got drunk and started picking on the guy it did become interesting, but a little funny in my backward and mean portion of my personality. All in all though it was a great night, great for my wife to see that I can make connections, to see that my personality and confidence are coming back, and to see me happy. Man I love that woman.

Speaking of, I went out with her and so co-workers today and realized something. I am so proud of my wife. I am used to the academic setting were most settings require some level of professionalism, but mostly just making and maintaining connections for research and such. My wife works in the business community and seeing her dressed up, talking business with her new found lingo and vernacular, I was so impressed. The way that she carries herself and her confidence is so impressive to me and I am so incredibly proud of her. Wow, what an amazing woman.

Last, but not least, I got a real boost in ego yesterday. My department head sent me some photos of some burials from Ecuador where she does her summer research. Not only was I ecstatic that she asked me to this, but the next bit was even better. I asked her if she wanted me to pass it on to one of my contacts/experts and she responded with a stern NO and an explanation that stated that since I was "the only" osteologist in Memphis then my assessment was of quality for her. Really!!!! The "only" osteologist in Memphis!!! I have a new title that I will be telling everyone about. I mean I was already on cloud nine knowing that I was the only one working with the University and the museum, but the only one in Memphis just took me over the edge. It completely made up for my computer crashing and me loosing all of my work. What a great day!!!!

Grown Up

I had one of those days (that despite my usual feelings of being lost in the big bad world) when I felt like a grown up. I know it sounds funny, but know others can identify. I felt like everything was under control, got to spend time with my wife, spend time with people older than me, had some drinks but didn't have too many, had interesting conversation, worked 9 hours, still got my necessary "chores" done for the day and took care of our injured pet. Overall the day went really well and for one day in a long time I felt like I had it together. Today is a different story, but the remnants of yesterday are still pulling me through. Wow, to feel like an adult, who would have ever thought?

Step One

So step one in the "Regaining Confidence" mission is to stop waling with my head down. I am not sure when I started doing this, but I have noticed it and realize (as self-involved as it might sound) that I get lost in my own thoughts and let my head drop as to not have to make contact with anyone else. This seems really funny in the fact that when I was in my undergrad my buddies would make fun of me because I always looked everyone in the eyes and it often intimidated people or made me come of confrontational. Anywho, walking with my head held high is my new goal and one I think will serve me well.

Some Self Reflection

So I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about how I have changed since I started college. While most of the changes I have undergone have been positive, I realized that I have lost some of myself. A couple of nights back my wife and I went to comfort a friend that had recently lost her job. We settled into a corner of one of the popular Midtown night spots and become instantly surrounded by 18-30 year olds from around Memphis and that was when I found what I had lost. People watching, an overly critical assessment of individual action and group culture due to my anthropological training, I noticed the cocky, overly abrasive, and often times profane young men and women and realized that the thing I have lost is my confidence. I am not saying that I want to even remotely resemble those getting-laid-focused college youth, but my head hanging, shy, and quiet demeanor reminded me that I have not always been this way. After much reflection I have realized that my rounds with graduate school and constant competition for continuing education combined with a necessity to please people versus challenge people has left me quite jaded. This is then underscored by my many years in the restaurant business where I was required to hide or repress my opinions and was left having people walk over me with no one to stand up in my defense. The situation in which I finally stood up for myself left me being fired, and then complicating my now realized problem.I am realizing now that thousands of college freshman fail out and that it is a very difficult cultural paradigm that is a lot for an 18 year old to handle. That does not change the fact that while doing my undergraduate work I was very confident and sure of myself and my knowledge and that allowed me to climb the ladder to where I got. However, outside that group that witnessed my struggle to redefine myself, everyone else only sees the person that couldn't cut it. Getting rejected from school after school and having to defend myself on every front has left me doubting myself, and I need that to change. My confidence is what allowed me to define myself as a competitor in my field and what help me "catch" my wife. I have felt like something has been missing for a while, and this annoying night of being surrounded by jar-heads and frat boys is what it took for me to realize what I had lost. This then begs the question: how does one regain self-respect and self-confidence when the loss was so gradual that it went unnoticed? I would love to be able to turn this around in a day, but no that isn't possible and can't believe that I have let the opinions and ignorance of others to change me in such a way. As many say, the first step to correcting the problem is realizing that there is a problem and I have gotten that far. I want the true me to stand out again and want to be that challenging, confident, and often annoying individual that so many people grew to love.